29-30

29 I am grateful for health, being sick this week reminded me I am grateful that I am largely a healthy and functional person.  There are so many things that can afflict the human body. I am thankful that I have been spared them.

30- Finally, I am grateful for HaShem.  He makes all of the other 29 things possible.  He is the only reason there is.  There is not really anything I can say except I am glad He loves me

22-28

Clearly posting every day is not my thing..

22- I am thankful for the opportunity to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my family.  I enjoy it.

23-I am thankful that my parents are joining me in Tulsa

24- I am thankful we joined the aquarium.. it is so much fun to bring the kids

25- I am thankful that my parents were willing to make a five hour drive to see us.

26- I am thankful that my I can dictate the school schedule in our house

27-I am thankful my husband has some flexible hours that can accommodate this awful flu

28- I am thankful we are all filling better

19**20**21

19
I am thankful that my husband has a job.  With all the politics and economic troubles.  I am SO thankful that we have an income right now that can support our family.

\\20

I am thankful for my education.  Past and future.  I am thankful that I live in a place where women are allowed an education.  I am thankful for parents who taught me to value education and thinking for yourself.  I am thankful for the chance to educate my children.  And I am thankful for the chance to finally complete my education.

21

I am thankful for my marriage.  (I know I already said I was thankful for my husband but this is different).  I am thankful that after thirteen years we still are here.  I am thankful that we both know the value of working hard at marriage when the world around us doesn't think its that important.  I am thankful that I am in a marriage with equal partners who respect each other, not a boss and a servant.  I am thankful for a partner in my parenting efforts and a cheerleader in my personal struggles   I am thankful that I got to choose my own partner and that G-d provided a great one.

sixteen, seventeen, eighteen

sixteen
I am thankful for my new kitchen with room for all my gadgets.I love to cook...#wishiwasbetteratit#

seventeen
I am grateful for Shabbat and for this season where we have the day free.

eighteen
I am grateful for a church that graciously accepted us into Awana without pressuring us to join.

13,14,15

13..I am thankful that I am under His protection no matter what is going on in this world


14..I am thankful for the little steps that are slowly leading me back to school


15...I am thankful that no one is firing rockets at my home tonight

Eleven, Twelve

11, I am thankful for my parents. So many people struggle with family. I am glad for our good relationship and the fact that they are great grandparents that my children cherish.
12, following the trend but should be said, I am thankful for this country and all of those who sacrificed for our freedom

7,8,9,10

I seem to be lousy at getting on the computer once a day

7 I am thankful for my new house, it really is so much nicer

8 I am thankful for the opportunity to finally go back to school...

9 Chocolate... no explanation really needed

10 I am thankful we found a new place to worship that we fit in well

Six

I am grateful that I have the right to home school my children.  I know that there are many places (and one of them could even be the future) where it would not be my choice.

Day 2,3,4,5

OK so.. it was a little inconvenient to get to my computer this weekend, but that does not mean I am not grateful, so here goes

2: I am grateful that I have a husband that considers it his duty to take care of our whole family, both financially and emotionally.

3: I am grateful that while we have had hard times by American standards, my children have never truly suffered. They have never slept in the snow or gone without food. They have never been without clothing.  They have never known the fear and uncertainty of a war right outside the door. They have never been ravaged by disease.

4: I am grateful that we have a great new house and a yard for the kids, I am so glad we can settle somewhere finally.

5: Despite all the arguing I am grateful I live in a country where we can vote and what we say actually matters.  That being said, I am also grateful its almost over.

Thirty Days Of Thanksgiving

I saw a few ppl doing this on facebook and I thought it was a great idea.
Today will be short because I just discovered this and it is bedtime!

I am grateful for my beautiful children.  I know the odds are against me having had only healthy pregnancies producing only healthy children.

http://www.30daysofthanks.com/

Independence Day 2012

We are celebrating a little extra freedom this fourth of July.. no more brace for Naomi!

                                        
 

Teaching

First, Time published the photo for their cover and every forum, blog, and talk show blew up with criticism of long term breastfeeding and the counter arguments.  Now that the actual article has been released attachment parenting is receiving the same treatment.  I read yesterday one man's gem Babies are Assholes, lovely no?

So I started thinking, removing the awful language, does this man have a point?  Am I raising namby pamby kids who will be welfare dependant adults because they just cant function?

This argument seems to center around what and when we teach our children.

Sleep.  When we are born we know how to sleep.  Its one of the first things we do.  I have never made any effort to teach my child to sleep and yet they all do.  And after babyhood they all do it in their own bed and all night.  So when people say "you have to teach that baby to sleep" OR "that baby will never sleep"  what they really mean is "if you don't take action soon to make that infant conform to your schedule it will be much more difficult later".  If you have to be up at 4am for work or if you have real sleep issues yourself, or if you simply honestly believe that letting a child go with their natural schedule is allowing them some powerful and manipulative position in your family structure, fine.  My family is not your family and I am not telling you what to do.  But please be more honest in your wording, no one needs to learn to sleep, and two years old is not synonymous with never.

Eat.  I didn't really have to teach my children to eat.  I simply offered them breast milk then when they showed signs of readiness food.  It may have taken lots of messes but they all know how to eat now.  I did not write down the the exact ounces and times they ate unless we had an allergy suspect.  It isn't really a skill we are born knowing, but its the kind of thing that takes practice not lessons.

There are jerks in the world.  Do I really need to teach my children that there are mean and awful people out there that will make fun of them, disappoint them, promise them something and then break that promise, not be around when you need them?  I believe my children will learn that sooner than I wish no matter how I try to protect them.  For now I will concentrate on teaching my children that I am not one of those people, they can count on me.

They wont get everything they want.  This one is a bit more complicated.  I do think I need to teach this one, when is what I disagree about. When my child reaches an age where what she wants is ten hours of Dora, french fries every time she sees a yellow M, her friends' and siblings' toys, and to stay up all night, then yes I will teach this lesson.  But while what she wants is food, drink, sleep, comfort, and occasionally pain relief then yeah she can have everything she wants.

They are the most important person to me.  Well they are the most important thing to me and no my TV show, my adult conversation, my ability to go out for cocktails are not more important.  They grow up so unbelievably quickly, I do not consider myself a martyr if I put some of me on hold while they are babies.  They believe they are intelligent enough to comprehend that they are most important to me but not most important in the world.  They must share their place in the family with their siblings, they will learn to share their place in the world with their peers.

What about actual skills?  If everyone is so worried about how productive they will be as adults why don't we worry about what we teach them a few years later?  Instead of worrying about where a six month old sleeps lets worry about who a sixteen year old sleeps with.  Are we teaching that there are consequences to their actions?  Do they know how to balance a checkbook?  Have you taught your seventeen year old the many many ways the credit system can ruin their next thirty years if they get a credit card now? Have you discussed with your twelve year old the difference between believing everything they see on TV/hear in a classroom vs analyzing what they are taught, researching and deciding for themselves?  Will your fifteen year old vote for the prettiest presidential candidate?  Do they have any idea how our political system even works?

Does anyone really believe how long you breastfed is what is causing someone to be lost in the adult world? Or do we just not want to talk about how we (society wide) are dropping them at the door of the school at age five and hoping they just figure it out from there.

Giving Up. (or asking for help)

Earlier this year Mike and I reached an impasse.  The boys were not doing well enough in school.  Being immersed in the homeschool community (and being in a bit of denial about my own failings) I was inclined to just keep going.  To trust that they would get it in their time.  Mike, being only passively involved with homeschool and still fully attached to the grades= success motto we all grew up with was starting to worry they would be working at McDonald's in 15 years.
We were both right.  I had let things go to far.  There were some basic skills that the boys, especially Yosef were missing out on.  I did not want to admit that I just wasn't getting through to him.  After all isn't the homeschool cheer that anyone can teach their kids.  They were not going to just "get it" without a major change.  And if I was not willing to swallow my pride and admit my own failings they would suffer.  It is also true that kids learn at their own pace, and an A doesn't really mean anything.  All the reasons I decided school in general and public school most specifically were not the right place for my children were all still valid.
We both agreed public school was out.  The district we just moved into is not even state accredited.  We looked at the cost of private and quickly realized that required an income all its own.  We were blessed and grateful to discover Charity Christian Academy through a facebook connection.  (see its not all a waste  of time)  It was a real answer to prayer.  The boys are in an online school now.  They have access to a "real" teacher, and tests, and grades.  Somehow things I tried to teach Yosef a million times suddenly make sense coming from someone else.  Michael has his quantifiable results and I have the boys home with me.  It is the perfect solution for us.
This whole experience made me realize a few things.  Asking for help or using a different means of school is not giving up or admitting failure. Its just changing things, and after all isn't that one of the big benefits of homeschool that we can change things whenever we need to, even in the middle of a school year, to best suit our family and our child.  I also realized that there is a lot of pressure in the homeschool community to do it all yourself and to produce geniuses.  There is so much from the outside criticizing and comparing to brick and mortar schools that  it is almost impossible to not feel you have to prove them wrong and show you are better.  Thus we compare our children, brag of their accomplishments and always feel they must be doing better than their public school counterparts.  Within homeschool community there is a lot of criticism of other forms of school (not that we would ever say it to your face) mostly probably born of the same desire to prove ourselves.  Therefore, no one wants to admit they are taking help from  the school system or that they are considering sending their child to school.
I also realized that for me the academics were not the reason I loved homeschooling.  Having the pressure off for the math and science and being able to concentrate on what I love, extra history lessons, incorporating the Biblical feasts into our daily life, field trips, just having my kids there with me to learn life skills has been a real blessing.
I know that this is not a one size fits all solution, in fact we are not using it for Eliana and may not ever because she inst having the struggles her brothers were with book work but I learned a lot about being flexible an accepting the answer to prayer even when it isn't the one we want.  He really does know best.

Deanna Rose Children’s Farmstead

http://www.opkansas.org/Things-to-See-And-Do/Deanna-Rose-Childrens-Farmstead
We went to this pretty cool place with Susie and Sarah on Monday

Haircuts

Six Months!

I can not believe it has already been six months but it has, actually it was Sunday but I waited until she had her apt today so I could include her stats. She is 26 in and 19lbs.  Which is 50th percentile for height, and 90th percentile for weight.  She is a fat baby!  But if she is like her siblings (especially Eliana) she will gain very little weight the second six months.  We started her on some avocado Sunday which she seemed to like.  She has just this week started scooting around backwards.  I was a little worried the brace was going to delay her movement but now that she is only wearing it at night she seems ready to go.  She can sit up 30-60sec at a time and I am pretty sure she will be able to do that on her own fairly soon.

Abortion

These are just my thoughts on the subject as they come up.  I am sure I will add to it as time goes on, just a way to record what I am thinking as I see this struggle advance.

-of course abortion is wrong, life is life is life is life,  when do you get to kill an adult because it is inconvenient   for you that they live?  who gets to decide which life is worth living?  is the child of rape worthless, the one with downs syndrome, the one with a congenital birth defect?  what if society decides your child is worthless? what if they decide you are worthless?

-I keep hearing pro-choice people say that pro-life people should be obligated to adopt all the unwanted babies because they don't want them aborted.  This is a ridiculous argument.  First, lets make an analogy.  Homelessness is a problem in America.  Everyone knows it, no one wants the homeless in their "back yard" and as far as I know no one has a brilliant solution to end homelessness, I certainly don't.  Let's shoot them.  Certainly they are unwanted.  Surely they would be better off if we put them out of their misery.  No one would WANT to live like that right?  And.. if you disagree with me, then I put it to you that you must come up with a solution to homelessness right now, and you must be willing to personally take any homeless you see into your home.  Ridiculous?  You do not have to know the solution to a problem to know killing people is the wrong answer.  Conversely, I keep wondering if this is actually meant to absolve the arguer of all social responsibility. Poor people, abused children, etc, not my problem.  I told you to abort them so its your problem to solve not mine.

-how is pro-life a war on women? I am a woman and I don't see how my rights are violated by saying I have to be responsible for the outcome of my own actions.  It is anti-woman to take the amazing miracle that G-d has made our bodies capable of and turn it into a burdensome medical condition.  Even if you believe that abortion is not morally reprehensible.. how is it a right??? I know that some ppl consider birth control to be a sin and I don't.  I think it is a reasonable and responsible way to in most cases control the outcome of my actions.  However, its not a right.  Its not a right to have my life be more convenient, its a privilege.  Yes I said convenient, being able to engage in sexual activity and at the same time control the timing and number of my children is a convenient  privilege.  It is not a human right.

-How in on earth is access to birth control pills a right but LIFE is not????

-I made sure to find a non-pro-life source for this one.  The NY times:
About 90 percent of pregnant women who are given a Down syndrome diagnosis have chosen to have an abortion.  
This makes me so incredibly sad that I have no commentary.  How could anyone ever defend this?

-in relation to this article: http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/story/2012-04-03/teen-pregnancy-birth-control-schools/53979070/1
First, this article speaks of birth rates because it is ok that teens get pg as long as they dont have to face the consequences
Second, I agree that abstinence education is generally ineffective. Having a teacher say don't have sex when every other societal force is telling you to is not going to work. But this speaks to our poor educational system that even our teachers don't know that this is flawed logic. The fact that solution A does not work is not support of solution B.
Third, I have a lot of trouble believing that in 2012 these teens are unaware of their BC options, (or even that the poorest students cant afford a condom) just like the teens where its not available they know what they can do, they just have the typical adolescent attitude of "it wont happen to me" They most likely have the same pg rate but "take care of it" before anyone knows.

Judgement

So, I think we throw around the words judge, judgment, and judgmental too often.  Having just been through a couple of those all important (haha) and soon forgotten online arguments this is on my mind.  I have been accused of being judgmental when it comes to parenting topics.  I thought of several things I could use as an example but I think I will use circumcision, since it is one topic I am on the receiving end of the judgement.
Here is a list of things that are NOT judgement or personal attacks against me or attempts to shame me.
1. not circumcising, leaving YOUR son intact is not about me
2. stating the fact that you did not circumcise
3. making the generic statement, "circumcision is wrong", you are simply stating your beliefs which do not happen to be the same as mine
4. posting clever cartoons or slogans against circumcision or in favor of intact in your space, physical or internet (ie, your facebook page,  your blog, your bumper, your home)
5. sharing information such as articles or statistics in your space (see above)
6.  sharing information when it is asked for
7 asking questions about circumcision

Here is a list of things that ARE judgmental, inappropriate, and often mean
1. telling me I am not allowed to circumcise
2. saying circumcising makes me a bad parent
3. referring to circumcision as mutilation, child abuse, or sexual abuse
4. posting clever cartoons or slogans against circumcision in MY space (ie my facebook page, blog, bumper or home)
5. sharing unsolicited articles and statistics repeatedly in my space
6. asking "How could you do that?" or "Why would you do that" or "Don't you feel guilty?"

This basic idea could be applied to most parenting topics.  One topic that I am accused of be judgmental about is breastfeeding so I changed the list to apply to breast vs formula:

Here is a list of things that are NOT judgement or personal attacks or attempts to shame

1.breastfeeding, MY decision about my child is not about YOU
2. stating the fact that I breastfeed, how long I did it, how easy or hard it was, or how often I do it
3. making the generic statement, "breast is best"
4. posting clever cartoons or slogans about breastfeeding in MY space (ie, my facebook page,  my blog, my bumper, my home)
5. sharing information such as articles or statistics about why breast is best or the downside of formula in my space (see above)
6.  sharing information when it is asked for
7 asking questions about formula

Here is a list of things that ARE judgental, inappropriate, and often mean
1. Saying everyone has to breastfeed
2. saying only bad parents use formula
3. refering to formula as poison or bad food
4. posting clever cartoons or slogans in favor of breastfeeding in YOUR space  (ie your facebook page, blog, bumper or home)
5. sharing unsolicited articles and statistics repeatedly in your space
6. asking "How could you do that?" or "Why would you do that" or "Don't you feel guilty?"

7. saying "you should have tried harder" or commenting in any other way about your personal experience without being explicitly invited to do so

I realize this is a bit long, but this is my space, right?  I think I made my point about judgement and hope that the mom's I consider my friends can relax and enjoy each other despite the fact that we haven't all made the same decisions.

Names

I have joked I can't have any more children because with five first and middle names I can't think of anymore.  I always wanted my children to have Hebrew names and names that could be shortened into nicknames. (I know some people want just the opposite)  My husband wanted to make sure they weren't too unusual or hard for Americans to say.  He had a brother that passed away in 1996 named Joey.  We named our oldest boy Yosef in his honor.  The poor boy has had to say "no that's a Y not a J" for almost 12 years now.  We thought we were being safer with the second but amazingly despite the popularity of Zachary, and the fact that it is a book of the Bible no one seems to know how to spell Zachariah.  With my daughter I thought I found the perfect balance of unusual but still "easy".  Even though I had never heard the name before I have met no less than ten Elianas since she was born.  Nathaniel has had better luck with people being familiar with his name.  For some reason it has never been shortened to Nate, little guy, big name.  When I found out I was pregnant the last time, the first name on my list was Naomi, it was the one my husband liked most too even before we had discussed it.  It seemed a natural fit.  Nathaniel calls her Mimi, I don't know if it will stick. So Yosef Dahvid, Zachariah Michael, Eliana Abigail, Nathaniel Levi and Naomi Tova.  I am officially out of names

Circumcision

I just unliked a facebook page after seeing at least the 10th post bashing circumcision in a couple days. I cant look anymore.

I circumcised all three of my boys as a matter of course. It has been done for 3000 + years. I am Jewish, we do this.

Until this pregnancy, I never knew there was anyone else who cared what happened to my child's penis. But I discovered there is a whole movement out there who not only cares deeply about it but wants to change the law to force me to comply with their wishes.

I am pretty "crunchy" or AP, or whatever label you want to give it. And this seems to go along with not circing.. unless of course you are Jewish. I never thought anything of it. I certainly never felt the need to convience any of these friends to circumcise.

But I cant help feeling attacked lately. Not by people choosing not to circumcise but by that growing vocal minority who feel it is their obligation to stop others. When people call it child abuse and mutilation, you are attacking me and my G-d. When I hesitate to post something like this on facebook, I wonder, am I being immoral? Is this being ashamed of G-d?

I never try and convince others not to eat pork, but I never doubted my decision. I never felt the need to search for scientific backup for this command (although its there pork is gross but thats another subject).

I do these things because that is what He said to do, I do not need another reason.

This is a bit disorganized as I am just typing out what I am feeling at the moment. Sorry